Sex: Getting Back to the Good Stuff

During couples therapy, I will usually ask about your sex life. Why do we need to talk about sex? Often, a couple's sex life can give us some clues about other parts of your relationship. 

It can be a normal, healthy and happy part of a relationship if you want. It’s not a need, yet it can be a fabulous addition to a successful relationship.  

It’s common for couples to want to talk about sex during counselling sessions, and it’s also common for couples to express relief when I mention it first. We’re all adults in the room, yet the topic of sex can often cause a little reddening of the cheeks. 

What I often hear about from couples is that sex used to be a good thing! Folks generally seem to know what they are doing once the opportunity arises - and what I mean by that is: two (or more) consenting, enthusiastic, well-rested, healthy and aroused people. However due to the stress and busyness of life, sex gets pushed to the bottom of the list.  

Part of the conversation will of course lead into distinction between sex and intimacy. Sometimes both are missing. In couples counselling, we can talk about you finding both of those things again. 

If you feel like you’re the only couple in the north east with a lacklustre sex life, you are not alone. It’s a widespread issue.